Intimacy comes in several forms. You can have emotional intimacy, where you connect with someone in a deep feeling of trust and physical intimacy, where physical contact enhances desire and closeness. Sexual intimacy combines both into the physical act of sex, which can be amazing. While sex doesn’t require intimacy, it is greatly enhanced when you connect beyond the physical.

As you age, your life gets more complicated, and the freedom to have sex is often put on the back burner as life gets busy. Our bodies change, and hormone levels fluctuate to work against us, so it can be difficult to experience the blissful sexual experience you used to have in your earlier years.

Is there a way to get it back when you are approaching mid-life? Here is how to have great sex in your 40s.

1. Sex Toys

Growing up, you may have thought that sex toys were taboo. It is enough to learn how to please yourself and your partner, along with various sexual techniques and positions; who has time for toys anyways?

The not-so-hidden truth is that sex toys are amazing and can open a new world to your sex life. Whether solo or with a partner, there are a variety of sexual devices that will enhance play and penetration. Some great devices you will find in a sex toy store include:

• Vibrators
• Dildos
• Butt plugs
• Ejaculators

Depending on your desires, There is lots of other stuff, but it is best to start in the shallow end and see what you like. You will find that both men and women love to use sex toys on themselves and their partners.

2. Redefine Sex

When we start our sexual journey, it is usually described as penetrative, vaginal sex. This is how you make babies, but it is only a small part of lovemaking. Also, as a woman ages, she goes through biological changes, including menopause, and this decreases estrogen levels and the elasticity in the vagina, leading to painful intercourse called dyspareunia.

Sex in your 40s and beyond needs to expand into a larger expression of intimate contact. This can be in the form of touching, cuddling, massaging, oral sex and other non-penetrative ways of having sex. Outside stimulation on a woman’s vulva is usually a better way for her to orgasm.

For men, age and their changing bodies may result in issues like erectile dysfunction and performance. By redefining what sex means in your relationships, you can have a more fulfilling sexual experience and learn new tricks.

3. Accept Your Body

While many people are committed to staying in great shape as they age, some put on weight in their 40s. This can negatively affect your sex life as you don’t feel desirable and may not see others sexually that are not in shape.

It’s time to embrace your body type in all its glory and get back into great sex. You still have all the same sexual anatomy, and any extra weight, stretch marks or hair shouldn’t prevent you from having fun.

Finding an accepting partner is also key to the equation. When you can come together with a person that desires you for you, it will increase your sexual satisfaction. Forget about anything you see as negative in the mirror and put your full effort into your sexual encounters. You will find deeper satisfaction, regardless of age or body type.

4. Express Your Needs and Desires

When you are young and sexually inexperienced, you are fumbling around, trying to make it happen, and often it can be less than pleasing. As you age, you have more encounters that you can use to map out what you like most in bed.

In your 40s, you are mature and should ask for what you want about sex because you want to have the most sexual bang for your buck. Instruct your partner where to go and what to do if you need to. On the flip side, ask them what they like and give it to them, as long as you are comfortable doing so. Knowing what you don’t want sexually is just as important as knowing what your want.

5. Find Comfortable Positions

In our 20s, we can bend our bodies into pretzels and play sexual twister all night. Along with age comes restricted movement, nagging injuries and sore bodies that all can be a deterrent for great sex.

Don’t let it be. While you may not be able to do the wheelbarrow or reverse cowboy, many other comfortable positions place the right sexual body parts in the perfect position for pleasurable access. Experiment with your partner to find some relaxing but effective body positions and go to town with them. When relaxed and comfortable, you will have a much better sexual session with more pleasure than in years.

This is how to have great sex in your 40s. Go easy on yourself and embrace the changes that age brings, and then fall back in love with your body and that of your sexual partner, so you can reach amazing sexual heights for years to come.